How to Prank the Weasley Twins in Ten Days by Mstar

Rating: PG13
Genres: Humor, Action & Adventure
Relationships: Lily & James
Book: Lily & James, Books 1 - 6
Published: 18/04/2006
Last Updated: 23/04/2006
Status: In Progress

A mysterious, certainly non-canon girl appears and whisks James and Sirius to the future, where
they are to aid her in the pranking of Mssrs. Fred and George Weasley. However the offsping of
Mssr. Potter is unaware of the presence of his father and godfather. Hilarity ensues as the two
time-travelers attempt to complete their mission and as Harry begins to doubt his sanity. And
really, what is up with Neville? I warn you- this fic is meant to be funny, and not to be taken
seriously. If you do take it seriously, then you seriously need to rethink your priorities.




1. Prologue
-----------



**How to Prank the Weasley Twins in Ten Days**

*Prologue*

James Potter and Sirius Black found themselves in the Room of Requirement and had no idea how
they got there. "Prongs," Sirius said blankly. "How the heck did we get
here?"

James shook his head and replied, "I have no idea."

Sirius nodded and told his friend, "The last thing I remember was hearing someone call our
names, turning around, and then everything going dark and waking up here." James was about to
agree when he saw someone walk out of the shadows.

"Hello," the mysterious person said cheerfully. The mysterious person incidentally,
was a girl with blonde hair, blue eyes, and an overly innocent grin.

"I don't trust you," Sirius said immediately. "That smile looks just like the
one I wear when trying to convince the teachers that I didn't do it when I did."

James nodded and asked, "Who are you?"

The girl grinned and replied, "My identity's not important, and even if it was,
you'd forget who I was because I have too many identities and I don't keep count." The
two boys looked at her confusedly, as the girl continued, "However, I have brought you
twenty-some years into the future because I require your assistance. I-"

"Hold the phone, whatever that is, did you say we're twenty years into the
future?" James interrupted.

The girl nodded and said, "Twenty-three to be exact. It might be twenty-two, I dunno...
Well anyways, I'm doing a documentary for my creative writing class, entitled How to Prank the
Weasley Twins in Ten Days and-"

This time Sirius interrupted saying, "*Weasley?* Did you say *Weasley?* As in
*Arthur* Weasley?"

The girl was now getting frustrated. "*Will you two stop interrupting me?!*" she
hissed. "And yes, the Weasley twins I am referring to are the sons of Arthur Weasley. Happy
now?" The two boys nodded. "No more interruptions?" They nodded again. The girl, now
satisfied, continued, "I need you to prank the twins in ten days, going over it step-by-step.
The-" James opened his mouth, as if to say something, but when he saw the evil look the girl
was shooting him, he thought better of it. "The reason I have chosen you two to prank the
twins is because the Weasley twins are excellent prankers. I don't believe anyone has been able
to prank them. And I do mean *anyone*. They even were able to swipe the Marauder's Map
from Filch after it was confiscated."

"IT GOT CONFISCATED?!" James and Sirius exclaimed.

The girl sighed and replied, "Calm down, you're in fifth year right?" The boys
nodded and the girl continued, "It doesn't get confiscated 'til your seventh year, I
think, and the important thing is that Filch never finds out how to work it, although the twins do.
They're in their seventh year now, but in their fifth, they gave the Map to someone who I
can't say, 'cause I'll be braking time travel laws."

James and Sirius exchanged a look that said, "Oooooook, this girl's a few candles short
a full candelabra..."

The girl scowled and said, "I saw that. Well, now that the map situation is cleared up, do
y'all know what to do?"

The boys shook their heads and Sirius replied, "You lost me when you mentioned the
Map."

"Same here," James agreed.

The girl sighed exasperatedly and said, "Recap: I took you twenty-some years into the
future-"

"We're twenty years into the future?!" James exclaimed.

The girl glared at him and continued, "-and I need you to prank Fred and George Weasley,
twin sons of Arthur Weasley, within ten days, and show me step-by-step, 'cause I need it for a
documentary I'm doing for my creative writing class. Got that?" The two boys nodded and
started to leave the room, but the girl stopped them.

"What?" they asked in unison.

"One more thing, boys," she replied. "Try to keep out of sight. Especially you,
Sirius. And James, if someone sees you and calls you Harry, just play along." The boys
shrugged, nodded, and left the room. The girl grinned evilly and muttered under her breath,
"Now let fun begin..."

-->



2. Day 1: Getting to Know Your Victim(s)
----------------------------------------



*Day 1: Getting to Know Your Victim(s)*

James and Sirius peeked around a hallway corner, stalking, er I mean *observing* their
prey, Fred and George Weasley. The mysterious girl had shown them a picture of the twosome,
although they would've been able to find the twins without it. Fred and George were the center
of attention and of course, stuck out with the trademark Weasley hair. Oh, and they looked exactly
alike. That helped too.

"So what are we gonna do?" James asked, trying to keep under his invisibility cloak
alongside Sirius. The girl had told them to keep out of sight, so they were doing so.

"We should probably continue following them around," Sirius whispered. He hoped that
none of the Ravenclaw fourth years, that had passed by, noticed a disembodied voice.

"Yeah," James agreed, in an equally hushed voice. "We need to figure out their
class schedules and where they hang out and stuff." He looked up as one of the twins lobbed a
dungbomb into a Slytherin's bag, then continued, "That girl is right; those Weasley twins
have skills."

Sirius nodded, reluctantly conceding to the fact that Fred and George Weasley may be better
pranksters than James and himself. After all, they had already seen the twins douse Filch and Mrs.
Norris in stink pellets, shove a Slytherin seventh year into the Vanishing Cabinet on the first
floor, turn three prefects' hair into hot pink afros, let off a large box of fireworks (sending
Filch and the frog-like woman who appeared to be headmistress all over the school trying to contain
them), put a "Kick me!" sign on Snape's back (the realization that Snape was now a
Hogwarts professor almost resulted in James and Sirius being discovered due to the high amount of
laughter being emitted from them), sold forty-seven prank items (that the two had made themselves),
and collected a month's worth of detentions while doing so. Not bad.

"And considering the fact that it isn't even time for dinner," James remarked when
he and Sirius were discussing it later on, "they might just break our record!"

"No way," Sirius contradicted. "*No one* could *ever* break our record.
I mean come *on*! We found out the Slytherin password and super glued their common room
entrance shut after sneaking in and loading the dorms and common room with exploding dungbombs and
stinkpellets."

"Yeah," James added. "And *then* we threw a rock at Moaning Myrtle and she
got mad and flooded the dungeons. We had detention for three months but-"

"It was worth it!" they said in unison. They burst out laughing but quickly cut
themselves off as a bunch of Hufflepuffs stared at the corner James and Sirius occupied. The girl
had told Sirius, in particularly, to stay unseen, so he quickly went off down a nearby hallway, as
he and James had forgot to put the invisibility cloak back on.

One of the Hufflepuffs, a rather chubby boy, came over and asked, "Hey Harry, what were you
and that other guy laughing about?"

*Who's Harry?* James wondered. He then remembered that the girl had said that it was ok
if James was seen, just as long as he played along if someone talked to him and called him Harry.
"Ummm..." he started, unsure of what to say. "He told me a joke. Yeah, that's
it!"

"Really?" the boy replied. "Well what was it?"

James searched around for a joke. *The one time I actually* need *to tell a joke, I
can't think of one!* "Uh," he said tentatively. "How many Slytherins does it
take to catch a snitch?"

"How many?" the boy inquired curiously.

"Two. One to actually catch it and another to take all the credit." The boy and a few
other Hufflepuffs who were also listening started to laugh.

"Hey Harry, that's funny!" James turned around and was facing the adolescents that
he and Sirius were supposed to prank.

"Uh, thanks Fred," he replied as coolly as one could manage in a situation such as
thus.

Fred (Was it Fred?) laughed and commented, "Maybe me and George could use it sometime,
ok?"

*Ok, it was Fred...* James thought, relieved. "Sure," he answered. "Um, I
gotta go... I have to, have to, uh... Do stuff! Yeah! I'll... Talk to ya later! See ya!"
He hurried off, putting as much distance between the twins and himself as he could. He turned onto
the hallway Sirius had disappeared down and ran right into the friend mentioned. "Why did you
leave me to face them alone?!" he exclaimed.

"What was I supposed do?!" Sirius countered. "The girl had told *me* to keep
out of sight. She just told you to play along."

James sighed and said, "Yeah, you're right. Although, I think it might be a good idea
for me to keep out of sight as well." The two boys nodded and continued down the hall.

.:*:.

"What do you mean you saw me in the library?" Harry asked angrily. "I've been
on the Quidditch pitch with Ron all day!"

"You know, he's right," Ron told his brothers. "He was helping he with the
whole Keeper thing."

"You were spying on us!" George accused. "We saw at least five times
today!"

"Yeah!" his twin agreed. "What's more, I could have sworn we saw Sirius
too!" Silence followed Fred's words. The boys had been arguing in the empty common room
(it was a Saturday) until recently, when Fred sent them into shock.

"You must be going crazy or something," Harry said, not able to believe what the
Weasley had said. "Sirius is at Grimmauld place. You know that."

Fred shook his head and replied, "I know that, but my eyes don't." The boys looked
at each other and shook their heads, not know what to think.

"Oh, I know!" Ron exclaimed suddenly, breaking the silence. "Maybe it was some
Slytherin prank!"

"Yeah," George said, willing to believe that than thinking Sirius was a Hogwarts.
"Just some stupid prank."

.:*:.

Unbeknownst to the boys, the common room *hadn't* been empty. "Excellent,"
the mysterious girl said to herself, as she watched the boys leave the room. She made sure her
invisibility cloak was secure and exited Gryffindor tower. It was six o' clock, and she had
told the two time travelers to meet her in the Room of Requirement at that time. The boys were
already there, as she entered the room and took off her cloak. "You've been seen,"
she stated, rather matter-of-factly.

"Yeah," James snapped. "Thanks for noticing. "Now tell me, who's this
Harry guy that people keep thinking I am?"

The girl shrugged and replied, "If I told you, I'd be breaking time travel rules, but
who cares about rules anyway?"

"Ain't it the truth," Sirius agreed whole-heartedly.

"Anyways," the girl continued. "Harry is your son, James. And that's all
I'm gonna say on the matter."

James looked stunned for a moment, than recovered asking, "REALLY?!?!?!?!?!?! DO YOU KNOW
IF EVANS AND I GET MARRIED?!"

The girl rolled her eyes and answered, "Yes, Lily Evans become Lily Potter."

James immediately looked like he ate a whole bunch of happy pills and started jumping up and
down, singing, "I'm gonna marry, Lil-ly! I'm gonna marry Lil-ly!"

The girl looked disgusted yet slightly amused as she let Sirius know that if James wet himself,
he'd be cleaning it up. With that, she threw on her invisibility cloak and left the room.

-->



3. Day 2: Concocting a Plan
---------------------------



*Day 2: Concocting a Plan*

James and Sirius sat in the Room of Requirement with their heads together, scheming on how
they'd get the Twins.

"Well, our pranks normally fall in one of three categories," James said as he thought.
"We prank either to absolutely embarrass someone, cause utter chaos, or both. I think what
we're aiming for in this particular prank is option number one or three."

"I'd say three," Sirius said, rather matter-of-factly. "Definitely number
three."

"Then it's settled. We'll try to embarrass, while causing the most chaos possible.
But what should we do?"

"Remember that time we pranked all the Slytherins by-"

"No," James interrupted. "It'll have to be something new and different, or
else the teachers might suspect. We're planning something big, and I can guarantee ya that the
teachers remember our previous escapades."

"Or at least our major ones," Sirius agreed. He suddenly froze. A mischievous grin
crept up his face as the wheels in his head started turning.

"I take it you have an idea?" James asked excitedly.

"You can bet your beans I do!"

"Beans? I don't have any beans," James said, puzzled.

"It's just an expression. I-"

"I've never heard that 'expression' before."

"WILL YOU FORGET ABOUT THE BEANS, ALREADY?!?!?!?!"

"Fine," James huffed. "You're the one who started it, bean lover."

"I am *not* a-," Sirius stopped and rubbed his forehead. "Let's just
drop it. As I was saying, I *do* have an idea. You know how the Twins make and sell prank
stuff?" James nodded and Sirius continued, "Well, I figure we can steal some of their
stuff and cause a bunch of trouble with it, annoying the teachers especially, and before we cause
all this chaos, we lock the Twins into a room filled with time-release dungbombs and fireworks!

We magically seal the door so they can't get out, even with magic and when we're through
making trouble, we come back under the Invisibility Cloak and let them out. When they're gone,
we go and clean up the room, so the Twins will not only be stinky, singed, and have headaches,
they'll also be blamed for the whole fiasco and won't be able to prove that they're
innocent!!!"

By the end of Sirius's little speech, the boys were jumping up and down so much, they
appeared to be high on sugar. Only instead of sugar, it was trouble. "They'll never know
what hit 'em!" James exclaimed.

"Yeah, and by the time the smoke clears, literally, and they start looking for the real
culprits, we'll be *looooong* gone!" Sirius added happily.

.:*:.

The boys refined and added a few details to their plan, and then covered themselves with the
cloak and left. As soon as they were gone, the girl pulled off her own Invisibility Cloak. As it
turns out, contrary to the boys' belief, they hadn't been alone in the room. The girl had
been eavesdropping the whole time.

"Oh, what pranksters," she said to herself. "And what a love for trouble. But
they aren't the only ones..." She smiled mischievously and continued, "They think
they'll be gone but they won't be. Oh no, they aren't going anywhere!" Her words
dissolved into evil laughter at her own evilnessness. She suddenly stopped and pulled on her cloak
as the door to the room opened.

Neville Longbottom stuck his head in and said curiously to himself, "Huh, I could've
sworn I heard maniacally evil laughter coming from here. Oh well." With that, he shut the door
and skipped off, humming "We All Live in a Yellow Submarine," by The Beatles.

As the girl walked over to the door, she whispered, "Oh, James and Sirius won't be the
only ones pulling off a prank..." She chuckled evilly as she left the Room of Requirement,
heading off into the unsuspecting castle to set into motion the evil deeds that would be done over
the next two weeks.

-->



4. Day 3: Gathering Supplies
----------------------------



*Day 3: Gathering Supplies*

Harry Potter lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to convince himself that he
wasn't going crazy. "I did not see my father today, I did not see my father today, I did
not see my father today," he chanted over and over.

"Harry, are you ok?" Ron Weasley asked as he entered the dorm. "You seemed a
little... offbeat today."

Harry sat up and turned to his friend. "My dad's dead right?"

Ron gave Harry a look and said, "Uhh... yeah."

Harry nodded and replied, "That's what I thought." He inhaled deeply, then
continued, "And there's only one of me, right?"

"Duh. Harry what the heck are you talking about?"

Harry leaned forward and hissed, "I swear I saw my dad earlier today. Either that or I have
a twin that I didn't know about."

"Harry... that's impossible," Ron replied, clearly thinking that his best friend
had gone completely insane.

Harry shook his head and answered, "I know that, and you know that, but my eyes apparently
don't." Harry sat up for a second and blinked. "Why do I sound completely
insane?"

"'Cause you are?" Ron said with a grin.

Harry glared at him angrily. "You should talk," he snapped.

"Ok, before y'all start arguing, you sound insane because I made you sound
insane," said a strange, yet vaguely familiar, disembodied voice from the ceiling.

"Ok," Harry said, rather unnerved by the feminine voice coming out of the boys'
dorm ceiling. "Who the heck was that?"

Ron shrugged and replied, "Must be the authoress who's writing this screwed up
fic."

"Oh," Harry responded blandly. "Now what were we talking about?" Ron
shrugged again and the two boys left the dorm.

.:*:.

"I saw my son again today," James commented as he and Sirius made a list of the
supplies they'd need for their prank.

"So," Sirius said with a yawn. They had been up all night, the excitement of their
plan being too much to handle. "You see him just about every day. Then you wet your pants
because he reminds you that you end up getting married to Evans."

"Hey!" James exclaimed, offended. "That only happened once, and I had to go real
bad, but the staircase changed on me!"

"Sure," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "Just keep telling yourself
that."

James glared at him angrily. "Atleast I don't pee on those muggle fire hydrants,"
he snapped. "Anyways," he continued as Sirius scowled, "I think Harry saw *me*
this time."

Sirius stopped writing the list and replied, "You've got to be kidding."

"I'm not."

"Then we're sunk."

"I know."

"Yes you are," the girl replied as she walked into the Room of Requirement. "Just
*what*, exactly, were you thinking?" The boys exchanged a look, but before either of them
could say anything, she changed her mind.

"Nevermind," she snapped, "I don't want to know. However, I *do* know
that he saw you. And now he thinks that he's going insane."

"It must be hereditary," Sirius snickered- only to be rewarded by a smack in the back
the head, courtesy of James.

"Besides that," the girl continued, "you're going to have to be extremely
careful from now on. We can't afford to have the twins catch wind of it and investigate. Or
even worse: what if one of the teachers sees you? Then you'll *really* be asking for
trouble."

"Isn't that what we normally do?" Sirius asked cluelessly.

The girl thought for a moment. "Good point," she said finally. "Anyway," she
continued, "stay out of sight. Got it?" Without waiting for a reply, she disappeared from
the room.

The two boys looked at each other blankly. "Ok," James said slowly. "We can do
that. Right?"

Sirius nodded. "I think so. But back to our prank, we're gonna need to sneak over to
Hogsmeade to raid for supplies."

"But what if we're spotted? Madam Rosmerta will recognize us for sure!" James
pointed out.

"You have an invisibility cloak, stupid!"

"Oh. Yeah. I forgot."

Sirius rolled his eyes heavenward.

.:*:.

"This was a good idea, Ron," Harry told his friend from underneath the invisibility
cloak. "A candy run to Honeydukes should hit the spot."

Ron nodded. "Yeah, this should be fun," he replied. The two boys proceeded in silence
down the secret tunnel that exited in the cellar of Honeydukes.

*An hour previous:*

"I'm glad this tunnel is still around," James told his friend from underneath the
invisibility cloak. "A prank run to Zonko's will be just the thing to fuel our
project."

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, this should be fun," he replied. The two boys proceeded in
silence down the secret tunnel that exited in the cellar of Honeydukes.

*An hour later:*

"Hey, do you hear footsteps?" Harry asked when they were about three fourths of the
way down the passage. The two boys stopped and listened.

"Yeah," Ron agreed a few moments later. "What should we do?"

"Move out of the way and wait to see who passes us, duh," Harry remarked, slightly
irked by his friend's lack of common sense. They did as Harry said and laid in wait for the
owners of the mysterious footsteps. However, the footsteps came, yet the owners were nowhere in
sight.

When they no longer could hear the unseen feet, Ron, ever observant as usual, said, "What
the heck just happened here?"

"It must have been someone in an invisibility cloak too," Harry answered.

"So what do we do?" Ron asked.

Harry thought about it for a moment, then, being the ever-so-intelligent teenage boy that he
was, replied, "We should sneak up on whoever it was and tackle them!"

"Yeah!" Ron agreed.

*Ten minutes later:*

"Hey, do you hear footsteps?" James asked when they were about halfway down the
passage. The two boys stopped and listened.

"Yeah," Sirius agreed a few moments later. "What should we do?"

"Move out of the way and wait to see who passes us, duh," James answered. "And if
it's someone we don't like and/or an invisible person, we tackle them."

"Sounds like a plan to me," Sirius replied. They did as James said and laid in wait
for the owners of the mysterious footsteps. However, the footsteps came, yet the owners were
nowhere in sight. "So we tackle them?" Sirius hissed in James's ear. James nodded,
and after setting down their purchases from Zonko's, the two boys lunged at their unseen
opponent.

"Hey!" someone shouted.

"What was that for?" another person yelled.

"It's two guys!" Sirius exclaimed as he and James tumbled with the unseen
strangers. Suddenly, the invisibility cloaks fell off.

"Woah," Ron said as he and the three other boys pulled themselves up from the ground.
"Am I seeing double?" He was, of course, referring to Harry and James, who looked almost
exactly alike.

"Ha!" Harry exclaimed. "I knew I wasn't going insane! I did see another
me!" Harry stopped for a moment, rethinking his statement. "Wait," he continued,
"that's not right." He looked over James and Sirius and suddenly realized who they
were. "Sirius?" he said, incredulous. "Dad?" he whispered, looking at James
disbelievingly.

"Um..." Ron started tentatively, "I'm going to go out on a limb here and say
something happened."

The three others looked over at the red head, giving him one of those looks. "Is he always
this dim?" James asked his son.

"Yep," Harry replied. "You two better explain."

"We will," James answered. "Now where to start…”

AN~ Yay! Cliffy! I actually have the next chapter written and posted elsewhere, but I'll
never tell!!! Teehee… I'm a little sugar high today.

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5. Day 4: Gaining Allies
------------------------



*Day 4: Gaining Allies*

Sitting together in the secret passageway to Hogsmede, Harry and Ron listened as James and
Sirius explained what had happened to them.

"So," Harry started, a little lost for words. I mean, wouldn't you be too, if you
had just met your dead father and heard such an amazing story? You wouldn't? Sure... Just keep
telling yourself that, Jessi, you dirk (if you're not Jessi, ignore that last part). All right,
back to Harry- "...So..."

"So what?" Sirius asked impatiently.

"So basically, some freaky bint brought you two to our time and wants you to prank Fred and
George?"

"That's it in a nutshell," James answered his (future) son. "Now the question
is, is what are we going to do."

"I mean," Sirius added, "we have a plan, more or less, of attack for the whole
prank thing- we never can turn down a challenge, but that girl creeps me out. Freaky bint is
right."

"Well, what are we supposed to do about it?" asked Ron. "Seriously, we have our
own freaky bint to deal with at the moment."

"Ah, girl trouble?" Sirius inquired sagely.

"I wish," Ron replied with a snort.

"Maybe you do," Harry snapped at his friend, "but not only do I have girl
trouble, but I too have to contend with the aforementioned 'freaky bint'."

"Ok," James said, confused, "which freaky bint are we on now?"

"The she-demon otherwise known as Dolores Umbridge," his son answered. "She
really must have ticked someone off to have that wand shoved so far up her arse. Not to mention how
bloody delusional that witch is." Only he didn't say witch.

"Now who, exactly, is this?" Sirius asked.

Harry and Ron exchanged a look, you know, the kind that says, "Should you tell him, or
me?" without saying anything at all. Apparently the decision ended with Ron, as he was the one
who replied, "Our current DADA teacher, if you can call her that. To be truthful, she's
the anti-teacher."

"So you say," Harry scoffed. "We all know the Ministry put her here just to make
my life miserable. Blimey! I'm still in pain from my last 'detention' with her. I
really want to murder the person who supplied her with that blasted quill. Enable her to be
sadistic, why don't ya?!"

"Ok, I'm lost," Sirius interjected.

"Yes," James agreed, "as scintillating as this conversation is, Padfoot and I
have no clue about half the stuff you're talking about."

"Alright, Harry replied, "here's the some-what shortened version: You know how the
DADA position is cursed, right?" When the two from the past nodded, he continued, "Well
since Dumbledore couldn't find a new teacher for the position, the Ministry provided one
instead. The teacher, and I do use that term lightly, is this delusional, racist bint who has it in
for me.

"Right now, there's this huge controversy in the wizarding world over Voldemort. Not
long after I was born, Voldemort came very close to dying. I mean, he was barely living and
disappeared. Well, a lot of people thought he was dead, but last June, he came back and..."
Harry trailed off and looked to his friend for any guidance as to how much to say. Ron just
shrugged and gave Harry a look that pretty much informed him that he was useless.

Harry sighed, and continued, "He came back, and I saw it happen." Trying to ignore the
horrified looks on the faces of his father and godfather, he trudged on, saying, "The
Ministry, thinking that I'm some attention-seeking brat, is trying to avoid a scare by telling
everyone that Voldemort's still six-feet-under, although to be truthful, he never really was to
begin with. Dumbledore, however, believes me and is spreading the word, so the Ministry stripped
him of all these titles and is having the Prophet say that he's become a senile, old
crackpot.

"For some stupid, power-hungry reason, Cornelius Fudge-for-Brains, the Minister, thinks
that Dumbledore wants to use the students as an army and try to take over the Ministry. You and I
both know that Dumbledore doesn't want to be Minister, but Fudge-head won't listen to
reason. Anyways, our new 'teacher' teaches us absolutely nothing. All we do in class is
read out of this stupid theory book. They're basically trying to tell the students that
there's nothing outside the school that's going to hurt them when they leave. And when I
contradicted this oh-so-brilliant theory in class, I received the first in a line of painful
detentions.

"As to what the detentions-from-hell consist of, I pretty much write lines. So for an hour,
I'm stuck writing, 'I must not tell lies,' over-and-over again."

"That doesn't sound too bad," Sirius pointed out.

"Oh, you'd think that, wouldn't you?" Harry said with a mirthless laugh.
"No, this isn't any ordinary quill she has you use. Instead, you use this freaking quill
that writes with your own blood and carves the words into the back of your hand." Except Harry
didn't say freaking.

He held out his scarred hand to be examined two very outraged teens. "That witch is going
down!" James exclaimed indignantly.

"Oh, that witch is in for hell!" Sirius agreed, quite pissed.

Only they didn't say witch.

"Tell ya what," Ron said with a down right evil look on his face, "you help us
get Umbridge, and we'll help you get Fred and George."

"My," Sirius exclaimed, "what a *smashing* idea!"

"We'll do it!" James agreed eagerly.

The four shook hands, sealing the deal. Summing up the feelings of the four boys, James replied,
"The next six days are going to be bloody brilliant!"

~*~

"Ah," said someone, both unseen and unheard. "Four boys making a secret pact in a
secret passage." She laughed rather evilly to herself. "And so the plot
thickens."

~*~

Meanwhile, blissfully unaware of the plots being plotted, Neville Longbottom skipped the
hallways of good ol' Hogwarts, singing random Beatles songs to himself. "It's been a
long day's..."

He suddenly stopped. He could've sworn he heard evil laughter coming from the vicinity of
the statue of the one-eyed witch (he actually meant witch). After pondering over all the odd
occurrences of the past few days, he came to a conclusion.

"Two Harrys, Sirius Black, disembodied maniacal laughter... That can only mean one thing:
HOGWARTS IS HAUNTED!!!" And without thinking that Hogwarts was already inhabited by specters,
he commenced in running down the corridor, screaming his head off.

AN~ Sorry for all the back-story, but it was kind of necessary. Besides, haven't you ever
wondered how James would take the news of how his son was being treated? True to Marauder form,
revenge by pranking!

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